i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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