Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
