Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
