Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
