I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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