honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize