I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
