Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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