We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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