I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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