I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
His hands were made for my vagina.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
