i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
