Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
