Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
