if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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