you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize