It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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