I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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