Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
