What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
