went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
