okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
