Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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