You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
