my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
