If that was your dad, he is hot
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So vagazzling was a success
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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