dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize