Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
