I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize