I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
