Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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