dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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