My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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