My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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