i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
