What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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