I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
