Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
