ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
