He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
