So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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