Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
