So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
