I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
