Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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