She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
