We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
