8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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