if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
