just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
