I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
