I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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