I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
