I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
