My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
