I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
