So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
