we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
