Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
