belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
