these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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