All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
