she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
